矛盾. contradiction

矛盾 = shield and sword
aiks
y my thinking and my life always so 矛盾 one ?
really beh tahan
for example, today i went to popula buy two books: which is a military magazine and national geography..
both geh topic range is so contradict
not yet, lets c wat kind of book i brought recently, i brought a issue book named post american world, another book talk about green energy, few national geography, car magazine and also few military magazine.

my music range in my computer, from classical ocherstra, korean k-pop, western r&b, chinese songs bla bla bla

conclusion, everything of mine are just so rojak
aiks,
this type of contradiction really reflected to my decision making
i will often think a lot but end out no result, well
the 矛盾 also hurt those who love and care about me
it make me lost a lot especially in relationship

Well, today i read the books about the story of Sir Richard Branson founder of Virgin Group in Popular

i felt it can be advantage, cause it can help me to find newer and more exciting lifestyle. i will never run out of tittle
well
since i cant get read of the contradiction in heart, i should eliminate the disadvantage and focus to the good one
we shall see, how things going =)

btw today is 28/12, official one month in JB, i still learning and finding more excitement to my life.